I’m trying my best to kick my habit of telling myself that I am not beautiful. Shallow, really, but it’s a problem when it spirals out of control.
In one of the four Halloween parties I attended this week (tiring but very fun!), I was really stressed out because I was not happy with the way I looked. I know, Halloween is supposed to be this holiday where you don’t have to be all hot and bothered by the way you look, because the entire point is for you to look scary, gross or not your normal self. But in this particular party, I indirectly had intentions of impressing somebody. No wonder the pressure was on!
After the party, I wasn’t sure if I succeeded on my goal. I mean, we barely spoke that night! And when I woke up the next day, I realized I had to be kinder to myself. Didn’t I just post it here that I am trying to work on my self-esteem? If I can rebuild my career from scratch and flourish (more on this soon! Stay tuned), I am sure I am capable of learning to embrace my looks, flaws and all.
And since it has become a stupid habit of mine to think that I am unattractive, it’s going to take a lot of research and planning to launch a newer, extra-positive mindset that won’t crash after kick-off.
I found myself reading this very helpful article on Gwyneth Paltrow’s blog, goop, on "How To Break A Habit". I especially loved these diagrams (courtesy of Random House) she showed there from Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit, on how to change and create a habit. Very useful guides ah!
And probably the most valuable thing I’ve learned from this post? The existence of “Keystone Habits”. Apparently, all you need is just one positive habit to start a ripple effect. Charles Duhigg explains:
”There are some habits – called keystone habits– that can cause a chain reaction through someone’s life or an organization. A great example of a keystone habit is exercise. When people start habitually exercising, even as infrequently as once a week, they often start changing other, unrelated patterns in their lives. Typically, people who exercise start eating better and getting to work earlier. They smoke less, and show more patience. They use their credit cards less frequently and say they feel less stressed. It’s not completely clear why, but for many people, exercise is a keystone habit that triggers widespread change.”
Hmm… Now I’m curious. I wonder what my keystone habit/s is/are. In the meantime, I will continue with making my plan of kicking my bad habit of telling myself I am not pretty a reality.
Because the new Marian is action-oriented. :)